Dear Prudence

I read the dumbest thing yesterday

you had lied to yourself about the death/dying of the relationship for the last half-year

the fuck were you holding on to?

blind. deaf. denial. weakness and stupidity.

unforgivable.

no wonder he left.

 

========== excerpt from the 12/27/2016 Column of Dear Prudence ==========

Too soon?: Last week, my fiancé abruptly left me. He woke me up in the morning, announced that he had been planning his departure for two weeks, packed his bags, and left. At first, it was extremely shocking and painful for me. However, after a few days of reflection, I’ve realized I was in denial about the more unpleasant aspects of our relationship. He had been consistently unfaithful for the first few months we were together, and I never really got over it. Additionally, we hadn’t had sex for about seven months. He was definitely not the man for me, and we ended our relationship more as best friends and roommates sharing assets than as partners.

My question is: Is it too soon to start casually dating? We broke up about a week ago, and I already feel ready to start moving on. On the one hand, I feel callous and cold for beginning to get over things so quickly. On the other, we hadn’t been sexual in months, and if I’m being honest with himself, I fell out of love with him more than six months ago. An old fling reached out, and I’d like to grab a drink with him. Am I being too self-centered?

 

A: It is not self-centered to want to get a drink with an old boyfriend; get the drink and have a nice time. Feel free to spend some time over the coming weeks and months doing some self-searching. Ask yourself how you can recognize signs that a relationship is falling apart sooner in the future, and think about what you do and don’t want in a partner. But you can do those things and casually date at the same time. You’re not looking to move in with a brand-new boyfriend; you’re talking about the occasional drink or meal with someone interesting, and there’s no reason you should have to sequester yourself to mourn a relationship that ended a long time before anyone left.

song II

been in love with this sad, somber song for a week

a song written to teach a young boy about his parents divorcing

deaf notes

I found them

I found them last night

locked in the darkest recess of my mind

I found them

I found your letters

I found the letters I never sent you

the letters I wrote over a hundred thousand times

re-calibrating each word with every draft

I found them

I found every singe letter I meant to send you

and I didn’t

but I found them

and in their silence, a deafening silence, so loud, I could not think

at least

I know where they lie

and one day

I will burn them

but today…

today they live

ridiculousness

on the radio, I heard the dumbest shit

the DJ was talking about a new, disturbing trend…some people are so zealous in trying to catch their spouse/partner cheat that they are now buying/renting/hiring drones to follow their partners around

…look, motherfuckers…if you are that insecure about your SO, that means your relationship has been dead for a long time and ain’t shit a drone can fucking solve, reveal or work out. stupid bitch ass fucks.

plus…this some stupid ass shit…there are so many pitfalls to drones…lmfao

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over the weekend, a high school friend reached out to me to share about her sister…

poor woman is a victim of domestic violence…and she is resisting help and doing self-destructive things and worse…she recently was assaulted by the boyfriend and refused to file a police report…instead, she was very childish….ran away, and left her two kids in the care of her family…. this poor woman has a history of being extremely narcissistic, selfish and sociopathic as well. it’s too bad… so many victims don’t know that they are….. domestic violence never gets better. it only gets worse

stranger things

on Friday night I had some email exchanges with my friend Vi

she told she got a recent promotion at her work,,,which was great, as I recall the last time I saw her, she wasn’t too sure she wanted to stay much longer…her company recently restructured after being bought over… I was so happy for her I ordered her flowers to congratulate her

she got the flowers today…and texted me….”how did you know I got a promotion?”

I was stunned…I said you emailed me Friday night…

then I teased her for drunk-emailing me.lmfao

I don’t know how she forgot…or unless she really was tipsy when we were emailing that night….maybe she was drunk e-mailing me….but she’s too proud to admit it…it’s OK…she can be stubborn sometimes, lol

the complete irony is that she gets pissed off when I drunk text her.

lmfao. I’m glad she loved the flowers

===================================================

last night, we parked all our cars in the driveway…the middle car, a Rav4, has a remote key

twice in a row…. the alarm goes off…but dies by itself

we check and there is no one out there, seemingly, and the keys are fine in the house…so no one is sitting on them by accident…

so I get paranoid and angry and walk out, barefoot, in the cold snow….with my heaviest boar machete that’s 2 feet long…I walk around and check and sure enough…no one and nothing is near/at the car or driveway….

i wonder if rabbits can set off car alarms….

====================================

on my lunch break…I drove to Best Buy…an 8 mn drive from my work

I tried to get new batteries for my 2.5 year old S5

to my shock, they don’t carry batteries in spite of having in-house Samsung associates!

wtf! I have to order S5 batteries from a fucking third party or walk in store like Batteries Plus

I am so pissed…do you want my business or not?