growing up as an immigrant/refugee, one of the hardest things in the world is straddling two cultures, and also battling ignorance…or rather…deciding which battles NOT to fight
I get frustrated with my parents who often have no fucking idea the way some things work because they only have one view of things, from their own limited perspective. it is both maddening and humbling but I also shouldn’t be so angry about it, but I am
take for example….my father who just retired 1.5 years ago from work….for the latter part of his working life here, he worked in a factory… where racist colleagues mocked him and his other peers…thank goodness he retired…but his factory had certain rules…you had to give at least a month’s notice to take any days off… you take too many unannounced days off and you get fired….there is no sick/paid family leave. if you show up late by a few minutes you can get fired….because it was a factory job…a man had to physically replace him for him to get off the clock.
so now ….here I am….middle child, only one in the whole family to have a college bachelor degree….NOT working in a factory like him…I have office jobs….the last job, I had good flexible PTO…the current job, I have even more of that… my parents only know about work experience and environment from my father’s factory job….so when I take days off from work….they still ask me…”if you’re not working, who is replacing you?” “why are you off today?” “don’t waste you vacation time, save it for when you really need it” “why are you off so much, are you just lazy and don’t want to go to work today?” these questions annoyed the fuck out of me and often I snap at them. they could never get it through their ignorant minds the fact that I don’t have a factory job like my dad did….I have about 100 hours of PTO I can use any way/day I want with little notice. I don’t need a man to physically replace me at a factory machine to get off the clock. if I’m 30 or 45 mn late after 9, it’s OK…so are most people, I won’t get fired for it.
even if I explain this to them
they still nag me
parents will always be parents.
even if they are supremely ignorant
and especially if they are