for as long as I can recall,

I don’t know how and why, but people have seen in me some kind of black vault of secrets

like I’m a dumpster for their problems, issues, fears, insecurities and drama

and they come to confide in me their darkest struggles, secrets and conflicts

I don’t know what it is about me

because I am surprised. I always thought I came off as the unapproachable type…stern with military bearing and harsh, rough looking, not very friendly at first impression.

the other day a good old friend/former colleague asked me to coffee, and she was telling me the horrors of her newish job…the dysfunction and her desire to move on already… I realized that all I did was listen and forgot to react…but I guess that’s all she wanted. I sent a follow up e-mail…but sometimes, they just want another human to listen.

during my lunch hour I went to get a book signed for a friend.

the book was written by another close friend. she is an inspirational writer and storyteller.

almost four years ago she confided to me a deep, tragic shame,,,the loss of her first born…the baby was stillborn. in helping her talk and listen, I helped inspire her husband to talk more openly about the issue…all too often, men in society are not as vocal on issues of childbirth…like we should/must… we should talk about premature babies and stillborn babies…not let society shame us into silence and secret crying sessions out of fear of ridicule and judgment.


I have another college friend

he likes to treat me to happy hour drinks once in a blue moon

he sees me as an unofficial professional mentor, both life coach and business mentor in his life

I do my best…but he is in the private sector and makes more money than I can dream of.

which is weird.

I don’t mind…just give me my beer and You can have your wise life advice. ha


I don’t say this to brag, but to reflect, and appreciate

that perhaps that is the best and most sacred responsibility I have a as friend, brother, mentor, coach and man. I’m glad I can be a rock for others….even if sometimes I question how I can be a rock for myself….but the journey is long, and always inwards. for me. at least. they would never know the burdens of all these secrets.



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