a route in the mind

a close friend made a joke last month on social media about me..

I got extremely upset.we had a falling out.

we patched things up, but I was able to examine some things in my life..

some life experience that made me realize…how/why in my background, in my ego and pride…that particular joke touched a particular nerve. but I’m over it now…I have to de-sensitize myself….more and more towards people around me. I have to grow a thicker skin.

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sometimes

the longest journey, my dear

is the journey inward

not the ones outward.

on the ephemeral

Life is brutish and short. yes.

don’t I ever forget.

3 weeks ago, my family got a huge medical scare.

my father had excruciating pain in his stomach all day…and couldn’t sleep. It was a Thursday night. at midnight, he couldn’t take it anymore so I took him and along with my mom, we went to the ER. by great coincidence I had taken the next day off work.

he suspected it would be an appendix issue…

and he was right. but I had never seen him in that much pain before. my father is usually a very serious, stern but strong guy. and I believe I have only seen him cry 3 times during funerals….he’s emotionally strong too.

unlike him…I got my mom’s emotions and I can actually be quite sensitive (but I try to act like him).

anyway….the prognosis was quick. doctors said it was very serious and we need to operate the next morning (this is at 2am)….by 11am the surgery began and he was done close to 1pm. it’s amazing how much/fast technology has advanced…a few years back, when my mom had her own appendectomy, they had to cut her open….today, they just make 3 small holes in your belly.

even though I knew it was going to be one of the quicker and easier surgeries…I could not help but think about how fragile life is and for my father’s pain. I had never seen him that physically mellow and weak….

while driving and running errands back and forth for the family and the hospital, I got really emotional.I thought about the mortality of both my aging parents. I began to cry profusely randomly on my errand drives throughout the day… I just hope other motorists didn’t see me cry, lol.

 

it is a stark reminder of how fragile life is.