odd/even

It takes a lot for me to feel crushed.

but sometimes I am more crushed than others. and this day is one.

a really awesome job I interviewed for … from which I felt really good and into which I felt really confident..did not pan out.

I was just informed I did not make it into round two of interviews.

sometimes you look for the silver lining, and perhaps that’s just going to be odd ways of fighting and even ways of fighting…and it’s never fully fair and it’s never fully fatal.

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“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.” ~ Socrates

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I’ve been so anxious and nervous and stressed…lately I have had very terrible, crazy, and violent dreams… I dreamed of surviving a mall siege by bandits….it was a horrible dream…I’m glad I woke up.

a box

of all the demons I wrestle hardest with and most…it has to do with defeat…

defeat, failure and disappointment … I don’t know how to deal with…talk about…esp. my own.

I’m ruminating this because I saw an older, good friend’s FB post on the very subject…

he talked about how many people talked about and with him about his successes…but they have no idea how many times he’s hit rock bottom and failed…both himself and others….

I need more time and skills and deep soul searching…so I can have a toolbox to deal with this too