plate tectonics

I know you get confused when I’m silent and you can’t figure out what I’m thinking

I’m just pensive that way. And don’t be anxious or nervous or wonder too much. Let me wander in my thoughts.

I want it that way. I radiate mystery without uttering a word and I hide hard truths behind a strange silence. I like the silence. I relish in the calm. I find solace in my solitude. And yet at times I am restless. I can’t stand still… I can’t stand the silence. But must times…. the silence is what I love. Leave me pensive as you found me.

I’m stoic like that. I hold back a lot more than I give out. I keep in a lot more than I lead on. And to think you think I say too much. But what I give and say, to all and sundry, is all I am, and everything.

================= the winter of my life

where once there was a butterfly, it shrunk into a recluse spider

the metamorphasis escaped your mind, but not your memory, 

you can see it, and not believe it, because your power of belief is more fickle than a mistress’ love

there is life, death and rebirth. and there is reincarnation.

where once there was a butterfly, it shrunk into a recluse spider

how long is this winter of my life

================ storm

I’m a big picture guy so I take a long view of life

but the storms they try me

like I’m in a torrent of rain and hail at this confluence of rivers

in the eye of the hurricane I am the shifting of the plates

tsunami born of plate tectonics because the foundation must shake in order to strengthen 

I wait out the boats and the grey sky morning

come what may

I am a big picture guy and I pay attention to details too

but these storms they try me heavily 

and at the confluence of rivers I stand alone

in wonder and wander.

============================== ungrateful people

sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by ungrateful people.

you see when I take and you don’t see what I give

you criticize what I don’t do and don’t appreciate what I do

you think I don’t care and accuse me of ignorance and neglect…

but I know that I care too much

and perhaps that’s the real damned problem.

that I care too much in fact to matter.

and you take advantage and take me for granted.

but it is no matter.

 

to me, I take the long view of life.

I’m a big picture guy.

and I’m bigger than that.

 

one would think that since I don’t often smile,

when I did…. they were genuine. at least I am genuine.

========================= hurt

I can take physical pain – but there are few physical pains more hurtful than a very badly stubbed toe…. fml

last night washing the car I stubbed my toe on a piece of equipment by the garage…. pain so great I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs…. but I held it in and  and wanted to cry…. I sprayed cold water on it and ignored the pain for a good time …. but I’m paying for it now…with a limp…. it was the second smallest toe on my right foot…

 

fml 

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