dreams

I had a dream I was disappointed to be awoken from by the alarm this morning as I got up for work,

I dreamed that I was playing a match of doubles tennis, and we were doing great….

In it, I was playing as I do (or used to) in real life,,,, I’m very fast up at the net

must be a sign to get back in tennis and in shape….

=========

I had a crazy dream early this week. I dreamed that I was flying!!! But it was more like floating…I wasn’t zipping up and down or across the sky – -I was gently and calmly, confidently flying whichever way I wanted to with the mere point of my head’s direction…. low, high, ….but not very fast….it was such an enjoyable dream…. it manifested a sense of control over myself, my life and just being on top of things…. but the irony is…. it’s only a dream 🙂 just a damned dream…. I was floating near ceilings, and when there were people I didn’t like or don’t like me, I floated above them… It was crazy and fun….

and I realize I’ve been having such dreams all my life and now just realized that it’s one of the many dreams I have in which I’m in a lucid dreaming state…because I can control what I do because I know that I am dreaming….crazy.. if only in real life I could really do that…. fly…and have all that control 😉

 

=============================== memories of my youth

I had a friend go to China earlier this month – for the next year to teach English….

few days before she left, I dreamed about her – I dreamed of meeting her at the local supermarket and she was excited and sad that she was leaving to China that night, so we hugged and talked and said goodbye…I woke up and told her about it.

I can’t explain it, but some people bring out the child in us… in my life she’s one of those people who bring out the child and playfulness in me. We’re always teasing each other about some aspect of ourselves, useless, playful banter…. I’ll miss her in the next year.

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Education…

—– my cousin talked to me recently about some of her strugglest at college…. she’s entering her third year at a small, prestigious midwest college… I’m glad I was able to talk to her and help her sort things out…it’s too bad that she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to her parents about this because of how they’ll react…. but I’m glad she trusted in me enough to reach out and have me help her sort it out….

 

====== ON TRUST

I’ve always been been a black vault.. a deppository of secrets and confidant of friends… and that’s fine,

I don’t think I present myself as such, but I’m always humbled and glad that people find enough trust in me, that I am a trustworthy person to them… not just friends and family, coworkers, acquaintences, complete strangers, etc., maybe I’m too hard on myself and self-deprecating… but all my life I never appreciated that about myself until recently….all my life I never realized it more consciously…all my life I hadn’t appreciated…. that they even see me that way… because the irony is that in my perception of myself I somehow don’t think of myself as a very approachable person in some ways… and thus, by extension, maybe I thought some people would be intimidated in trusting me… but regardless…. I’m glad that I can be an ear or a black vault to those who need. I’m a good listener…and I am fiercely loyal.

 well…perhaps others see us differently than we perceive ourselves and think of how others perceive us….all just as well….

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