just had my year review….

it was not as good as I had thought/hoped…

which is too bad…

it’s been a rough transition in some ways into this new sector

it doesn’t help that my boss is indecisive and changes her mind sometimes

and sometimes she just isn’t clear or she expects you to read her mind

worse of all…I am just now starting to realize a little bit of feeling not very appreciated

because she forgets about some of the things she splits my time up for/with

that is not …entirely germane to what I signed up for


fuck it. I need a beer.

it’s good at least I know…a better picture of how to do things differently going forward


I haven’t been to the movies lately

though I usually love movies

the most recent I saw was last night….Allied

what a wonderful screenplay

I loved the deep searching across morality, legality, and righteousness

in the face of great evil

and in the name of love

though it reminds me of “Pear Harbor” in a way

a war broke out in the middle of a love story



Marion Cotillard is gorgeous

life at a funeral

when I die,

bury me in a simple grave, no extravagance

at my funeral, don’t cry too much

for I could not be able to wipe you tears


I want four singers to sing, a song each, for even pairs bring good luck

instead of crying, you should smile and laugh, even

for how could I stand the sight of you crying?

and when you lay me in the earth, pour a little rum and whiskey right before the dirt

because how else would I want to go?

most importantly

when I breathe my last

remember me not as I was

but as I could be

for that is what I want

my sweet darling dear

on goings on

my friend Srida has great wisdom to share

sharing from her social media

“Motivational speaker and author Lisa Nichols explains this concept well in her book Abundance Now. Lisa says that, in life, there are three types of relationships you’ll experience: 1) Life giving: People who come into your life temporarily to boost your ego – they remind you of your value, and they make you feel alive with excitement. 2) Purposeful: People you encounter for a specific purpose (starting a business, growing spiritually, finding your voice, building a family, etc.), but when the purpose is fulfilled, the relationship ends. 3) Lifetime: These relationships are so strong that they last forever. They’re typically balanced and healthy, regardless of the ups and downs of the relationship.” – Zim Ugochukwu


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health and wellness

I am extremely lucky

my work place really cares about personal health and wellness and encourages each of us to do us, in and out of the office

new policies I am so excited to take advantage of are:

2 hours a week DURING THE WORK DAY I can take off for self care/health/wellness, be it go for a walk, meditation, yoga, tai chi, etc.

and dollars to spend on the endeavor

one thing I hadn’t taken advantage of yet, because my old gym closed, is gym reimbursement….so I will do that soon…funny irony…a brand new gym just opened where my old gym closed. I will go check them out this weekend and maybe sign up so I can get back into it

recent events have made me more conscious of my own mortality

and my own place in the world…

I feel so under-accomplished. next year I’ll be 30

by 26, Alexander had conquered the world

by 26, my father was a soldier who just had his first born after marrying my mother




and so you followed her here

from there

and yet

now she has left you

what do you do?

you can’t even think straight



you don’t even drive straight

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