what a very cool, welcome surprise

I used to envy friends in the private sector who got year-end bonuses

having used to work in the public sector, now in nonprofits, I did not think I would see this day


but today our boss surprised us

after a great year,

he gave us each a $500 gift card

I am beyond happy, elated and grateful


go big or go home

I’m gonna be a little more stingy and selfish and self-interested going forth

I think I’ve been wasting a lot of time and energy investing in friends who don’t think as competitively about gratitude and loyalty as I do

earlier last month I excommunicated a friend who wasn’t very grateful

they live in another city out-state, and would strongly recommend I go watch a movie

and we can compare notes/talk about it, which I do

but when it comes time for me to ask them to do similar a task

they ignore/reject the proposition…

I’m gonna start ghosting friends who ghost me on Words With Friends or who make me wait days on end to play back,,,, give them the same medicine they give me

I’m gonna stop replying to people who only come to me for things if and when they need it right there and then

I’m gonna stop wasting my time with people who aren’t urgent, who don’t express the same gratitude I do…I am an extremely competitive man in certain, very particular ways and I haven’t lived up to myself lately

I’m gonna stop talking to people who are fake and not sincere

people who don’t invest in me, who don’t invest in the same things, values and ideals, and even the same fun as I do

I now turn insular

I now game singular


if my friend offends me

at what point do I seek an apology

or to which degree do I press for one?



there is no rest

I’m so drained

having to jump

from ship to ship


I need self care

feeling fall


O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow’s wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!
For the grapes’ sake, if they were all,
Whose leaves already are burnt with frost,
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost—
For the grapes’ sake along the wall.

great thoughts

“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself,
and you are the easiest person to fool.”
-Richard Feynman

“Whenever people say, ‘We mustn’t be sentimental,’
– you can take it they are about to do something cruel.
And if they add, ‘We must be realistic,’
– they mean they are going to make money out of it.”
–Brigid Brophy

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
–Anais Nin

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
— Frederick Douglass

“The life of the individual only has meaning in so far as it aids in
making the life of every living thing nobler and more beautiful.”
— Albert Einstein

“We know how to transform this world to reduce our impact on nature by several fold,
how to provide meaningful, dignified living-wage jobs for all who seek them,
and how to feed, clothe, and house every person on earth.

What we don’t know is how to remove those in power, those whose ignorance of biology
is matched only by their indifference to human suffering. This is a political issue. It is not an ecological problem.”

–Paul Hawken, from a speech at the Bioneers conference in Oct. 2002